


No one cares  (vent fic)

by Oopremusangst



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders And Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Needs a Hug, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Other, Self-Harm, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oopremusangst/pseuds/Oopremusangst
Summary: Remus doesnt care. (Tw self harm, eating disorders, abuse, etc)
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 9





	No one cares  (vent fic)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic isnt meant to be good I just needed to get my emotions out

Remus was fine with this, he didnt care. He doesn't need anyone to help him, to comfort him, to help quiet his thoughts. No no no those things weren't important at all. That's why he didn't care when Roman left and started hating him, when Virgil left and started hating him and when Janus left, no evidence of Janus hating him because he just acts like Remus doesn't exist. It didnt matter that they were the only thing keeping him from fully spiralling. Remus knew that he was extremely fucked over, he didnt care. He knew that Janus knew everything about him, He didn't give a single fuck that Janus had just used him for sex. It didn't matter to him. Then we look at Remus' current behavior patterns that hes developed and/or started doing again now that no one could stop him. He started feeding into his impulses, doing whatever his brain told him to do no matter how much damage it could do to his mental or physical health, he started using marijuana more often in higher (ha get it?) Amounts. He hadn't showered or practiced any sort of basic hygiene for weeks, the list goes on. Remus also didn't care that other people were starting to catch onto him. He didn't care that people knew he had relapsed into self harm and his bulimia. It didn't matter, nothing mattered. He was useless and disgusting, there's a reason everyone left him. There has to be. Not only was Roman so much better then him, stronger then him, more attractive then him, less annoying, god Remus would rip out 15 of his teeth to be as good as Roman. What was he doing? What was he thinking about before he started thinking about _them_ again? Oh yeah burning his hands with a lighter, maybe he should get back to doing that. He desperately craved the pain, ~~and the validation his brain gave to him when he fed into the impulses~~ he wanted to be a normal person, he wanted to get better, he tried so fucking hard to be a good person. He tried so hard to make people happy, he never said no to anyone, it didn't matter if he didn't want to do something he couldn't say no because that could make people mad at him. It would ruin his chances of being a good person. He wanted to be good, he wanted to help people, but all he ever did was cause pain and annoy people to the point where they had to scream at him to get him to shut up. He had Cyrus though, the mysterious orange side that only talks to him, only wants him. Hes special to Cyrus, Cyrus would never leave, even if Remus wanted him to. He was the only person who ever actually cared about Remus, nobody else loves him but Cyrus. Cyrus said so himself. _"I'm the only one who ever cared about you so be grateful that I'm still here you annoying bitch"_ That was signs of love, he cared about Remus, sure he was mean sometimes and constantly put Remus down for doing anything wrong no matter how small the mistake was, but I didn't matter. Remus didn't care. All he cared about was the fact that Cyrus still willingly stayed with him and actually wanted to spend time with him. He wanted affection, he wanted someone to care that he existed, that's all that mattered to him. _Someone,_ anyone please he wanted someone to care about him please please please. Remus never got that, no one cared about Remus. He was just a nuisance, a disease, nothing worth even giving a thought about. Remus saw Janus and Roman slowly fix their relationship, **WHAT ABOUT HIM? WHEN DID REMUS GET THAT? WHEN DID HE GET HIS TURN? WHEN DID HE GET HIS FUCKING CHANCE TO FIX THINGS?** When did he get a turn to be cared about? When did he get a chance to be loved and accepted? He will never get that chance, he will never get a turn to be loved. It's like when you go to an amusement park and the line is so long that you just stand there waiting for the line to get shorter, the line doesn't get shorter. It gets longer and longer until you've been standing there for what feels like forever. He had to sit and watch as everyone got their turn, everyone got their present but him. He didn't get anything, he got harsh insults and hard slaps across the face. He got told to shut up and that he was useless and an idiot that wasnt worth the time. That's at least something right? They're at least talking to him. Remus cared, he cared so fucking much, he cared more then anything, but be pretended not to because excepting the fact that he did care what other people thought and that he did care when people ignored and insulted him was harder then anything he had ever dealt with before. He was a better liar then he thought he was, then again it's not like anyone cared to see if he was lying or not.


End file.
